HIT ME, Please....

Hit me, please, please hit me, please, please do it, and let's get it done!!!
Whenever he does, he says and repeat you have been looking for it, you needed it, you wanted it, I'm doing it for you.
How true is this? Does any victim of abuse really provoke a violent incident? Sometimes I do, but for sure not in the way he means it. I do when the tension gets really unbearable. Waiting for an explosion, is worse than the explosion itself. I can see him turning around, going back and forth, arguing about nothing, creating an issue that does not exist, raise his hand, kick the door, yells curses, screams, and in the meantime, I am there wearing that silly smile, looking at him, breathless, and saying in my heart: Hit me please, please hit me, and get it done,

I can't handle the waiting, no more, I want to breathe, so just do it and empty your anger. Do it, so that we can both feel better. I want to breathe. I'm tired of waiting, Waiting is killing me. My body is all tensed, My face is crisped, my mind is empty, and my heart is full, full of painful love.




It has just taken me back now to that 12 years old little innocent girl, as he was telling her: I know that's what you want, everything in you is telling me you need me, everything in you is calling me, you want it, you want me, you want that, you need me, it's not me, it's you, you need me to do it, say it, admit it, tell me you want me to do it, tell me, it's you.......
And they are guilt free, all of them.....