WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is our all quality that has made life possible. It is our all origin. It is our destiny. It is our home and our path. It is all there is.

AGNI EICKERMANN

"I have learned to be silent and to listen.

Every heart has a story to tell.

Every heart knows about its divine origin.

Every heart knows it is love."

AGNI EICKERMANN

What is Love?

This is something I have been thinking about for a very long time. How can I define love? How can my heart decide what kind of love to feel? Why do we say I love you like a mother would love her child, I love you like a best friend, like a sister, like a brother. Who makes this decision, and how, based on which criteria?

I have so many thoughts on the matter, but I am still a bit confused,  although they are comforting thoughts.
What defines the love we share with each other? I think our love is only defined by our needs.
Love is equal to everyone; it has no limits, nor boundaries. The differentiation is only made in the mind, not in the heart, and it's only determined by the kind of love we are lacking in our life.

I have been reading a lot lately, that love of Self is the most important and that once we can love ourselves, we can be happy and feel complete. I also read, frequently, that a successful couple is formed by two people who complete each other. Both statements are somehow true, but not exclusive.

When a child is born, he needs to learn how to love himself. His first teachers are his parents and his siblings. The next step will be taught at school age, with other children and teachers. He will learn to accept himself for who he is, and he will learn that he as important as anyone else.

So, in order to love myself I need to learn things from others who have specific roles in my life, and if one of those "teachers" is missing, I will look for him in any other person I meet.

There are lessons we need to learn from a mother, a father, a partner in life, a brother, a sister, a friend, a best friend, a guide, a teacher, etc. Needs that we have to fill in to be complete and also, needs that will help us feel our life is fulfilled.

If my partner is giving me the Love I need from him, I wouldn't fall in love with someone else. If the father figure has been available in my life, I wouldn't look for a father in the people I meet, same for the mother and friends, brothers and sisters.

That is something I have felt all my life when blaming myself for the love i was feeling for different persons, but I blamed myself for this love without understanding the causes. Why would I love my teachers as a child loves his mother? Same thing for my friend. My best friends have always been for me the perfect mother figure. I used sometimes to be upset if one of my friends considered me a sister when for me, she was more like a mother, and that has sometimes created problems for me.

Now, I finally understand: I needed the mother, she needed the sister she never had. I realized that because I made a list of all the persons who consider me a real true sister. All those either never had a sister or have faced problems with their sisters in their childhood or life. So they saw in me the sister-figure they were lacking.

My earliest memories are of wanting a brother ... two new babies were a disappointment, because they were sisters. Every male friend I made became, for me, the brother I so desired, particularly the supportive, protective ones. I don't remember ever looking at any man as a father, now I understand why ... it's because my father has always been present in my life. Whether he was a good father or not is not the problem, as long as he was there.

I have noticed myself becoming very "romantic" lately ... I found myself dreaming of love, a very pure and innocent love. I can imagine myself walking with my partner on the beach, riding a bike in a big park, running on the grass, laughing and talking, and having fun. I realized that I have never truly experienced LOVE before because that innocent kind of love, the one that usually teenagers have, when they can feel the happiest in the world just by holding hands, was never fulfilled. As long as I don't live that experience, I don't think I can grow up ... in love