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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Rainbow

Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow.
James M. Barrie

Stormy weather, sleepless night, painful body, and wild thoughts.
I wonder what today will bring. I'm driving towards school. The person in charge called me for an urgent meeting concerning my son Joe. I try not to think much and worry. I try to focus on something else. Today 29th February  must be a special day.  What's wrong with Joe? You know what's wrong silly!!!!, keep positive Nikky, keep positive!! Oh! It's Wednesday, question day! What will I ask Jodi about today? Joe is miserable and I'm sure they noticed. Keep driving Nikky, ignore those thoughts. I know what i will ask her: what makes you think I am strong??? How do you know I am? Don't you see me now shaking and anxious? I'm worried. Oh God, please make it a good day! Please send me strength and something nice that might calm me down!
I look at the sky, through eyes full of tears, and I see the most perfect and beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. I grab my mobile to take a photo to make sure I'm not dreaming. 

The meeting was stressful, but I was strong. School is aware that Joe is abused, and wants to interfere. I would usually deny, today I didn't. I felt strong for you my friend, for you Joe, and for me.

Today is a good day, it has to be, it will be
1) The Rainbow
2) I could get over my fear and talked
3) Pat wrote me this wonderful message
          There is a special lady,
          Lives many miles away ...
          She oversees my progress 
          And checks me every day.
          All she needs are cuddles
          And special hugs, I know
          So I send Nicole my heart and arms
          To keep her on the go.

                               Patricia Eastwood


  1. See? You are strong. We, are the last to see ourselves, but that doesn't mean it is not true.

    1. First Blog, first post and first comment!!!! It's your blog post of yesterday that motivated me :) Thank you.
      I'm not THAT strong Jodi, I can act strong, but inside I'm very vulnerable. I have a very strong control on myself, but sometimes i get tired.

  2. Oh no. This sounds sad. I hope everything is ok. Are you ok?

    1. Thank you <3 I'm OK, very anxious, but all will be fine <3

  3. Life tests us again and again. Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting.

  4. Hi, Nikky! ~

    I don't know what to say or think about this post! Is it really your very first blog post? Congratulations on that! Of course, I don't want to think that your son is being abused. What's that about? Holding you and your family in my heart!

    1. Hi Linda,

      Yes, it's my first Blog and first post. I have started reading blogs just 3 or 4 months ago, and yesterday I needed to keep my mind busy, and had no one to share my thoughts with, so I created that Blog.My son is 12 and abused by his dad emotionally but sometimes also physically :(
      Thank you for your comment and prayers <3

    2. Nice to 'meet' you, Nikky!

      I started blogging a year ago and it has changed my whole life -- you've embarked on what could be a very empowering adventure ;-)

      Since I don't know you, I hope you won't think I'm overstepping my bounds, but I felt moved to share a post with you. I published it recently on my blog -- it's about my experience of overcoming my own childhood abuse. If it calls to you to read it, you may find something helpful there:

    3. Nice to meet you too Linda <3
      Thank you very much for sharing the post with me. I will certainly read it.I appreciate your comments. Every shared experience, can certainly help me deal with my situation.
      Thanks a lot

  5. That very special lady, who lives so far away,
    Has given me much reason to wear a smile today ...
    She lacks a bit of confidence,
    but at acting brave, she's good
    And her love's so HUGE it spans the world
    and warms my English blood
    God Bless our Nikky in her life and help her to prevail
    Over all those obstacles ... I know she will not fail. — Patricia Eastwood

  6. Nikki,
    ~~~~Glad you are in the blogmosphere.

    It is truly a great platform to find support, release your thoughts, let go, & not feel judged.

    It's your blog.

    Do. And. Say. What. You. Want.

    Love that we connected.


    1. Thank you so much Kim. I felt I needed to share and i was anxious and needed to keep myself busy, so I just did, never thought about it before.
      I appreciate your friendship and support a lot :)

  7. "Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow." Love this comment by James M. Barrie! And lovely rainbow, what a reminder of grace and beauty!

    I am praying for you Nikky, now that I know the need. I'll be mindful of your situation and your son's, and will keep you lifted up.
    Happy blogging! Following you. hugs!

    1. Thank you so much Debra!!! To be honest, I need all the support and prayers i can get, and it's amazing how beautiful it is to feel all this love coming to me now through posting on a Blog!
      Thanks again, HUGS <3

  8. Hi Nikky - I've been seeing your comments on many blogs I visit and wanted to come by and tell you that you are in my thoughts and prayer. I hope you are able to find a way out for your son and you.

    I would like you to read a recent post on my blog:

    1. Hi Corinne, I also read your comments on most of the blogs i visit :)
      Thank you for joining me here and commenting. It's my first attempt to write and it really does help!
      I will check your post now. Thank you for sharing, and also for your loving thoughts and prayers<3

  9. Beautiful! I hope you have that rainbow day. :)

  10. Hi Nicole, It is wonderful to read your blog at last. Your voice is powerful, full of love and sadly, pain too. I feel for you and Joe, though I don't know the story. I wish you strength and hope. (The rainbow is the perfect sign I think.) I so admire your honesty and look forward to reading more.

    1. Thank you so much Lisa. I never thought of writing or creating a blog until the day I wrote this post. I felt like something was pushing me to do it. I felt the need to share and had no one available, and I said why not?
      It is full of pain, but I am learning now to turn the pain into energy, and that is easy now that i have found i am not "alone" anymore. Thank you.

  11. You and your children are in my thoughts Nikky, I thought it would help me to read you from the start.
    It is your first letter to us kind of, know we will be there always. Here it is your place, your space, be you, let go of what hurts dear. You are strong and beautiful, may God be with you always. xx

    1. Thank You so much Marie for your message. It means so much to me that you are going through all the posts. It means a lot, because it's a sign that you want to know me better. I said many times that I am not writing to be published or to get comments. I am only writing because I need to have friends and fight my loneliness, and you are a friend. You care and want to know more. Thank you.


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